It Takes A Village To Raise A Child

Mary Perez moved to Ulysses in 1967, when she was 13 years old.

Six years later, she was marrying the love of her life, Eloy Perez, in 1973.  The two have now been married for 53 years.

Not long before her 20th birthday, Mary became a mom to her first child.

"We wanted a baby," Mary said, adding she and her husband went on to have two more - all three were girls.

Today, her daughters are all grown.

"They are 51, 48 and 45," Mary said.

She and her husband had also always wanted a little boy and an opportunity presented itself to them in 1985.

"We got the chance to adopt him and we did," Mary said. Visibly fighting back tears she added, "He passed away in 2020."

AJ Perez was only 35 at the time he died - way too young, and a loss that is still felt by the family today.

Mary is also grandmother to eight grandchildren and great-grandmother to nine. Three of her grandchildren lost their father when they were very young. They and their mother lived with Mary and Eloy for awhile. Mary was there showing support for her daughter and helping with the kids.

And then, Mary found herself once again in the full-time role of "mom". Mary and her husband are now guardians for three of their great-grandchildren.

"When we got them the baby boy was 2, the girl was 5 and the oldest boy was 8," Mary said. "My daughter, their grandmother, helps out with them, too."

Mary also receives support from other family members.

"We are very lucky we have family and extended family," she said. "I don't know if I could do this without family support. Their aunts are always offering to help. I see some families who don't have that kind of support. It takes a village to raise a child - family support is the most important thing to have."

Mary worked an outside job while at the same time she was raising children. She worked for Headstart for 29 years, drove a school bus for 10 years and worked at the nursing home for 20 years.

"I have worked my whole life," Mary said. "I retired to take care of my great grandson."

Mary became a "stay-at-home great grandma" to her three great grandchildren when they were 7, 10 and 15.

Mary knows the challenges of being a mom.

"Raising them has been a challenge," she said. "I have had to make some hard decisions, and then hope the next day they will still say 'I love you grandma'."

Another big challenge she has faced over the years is daycare.

"I didn't trust just anyone with my kids," Mary said. "It's hard to find someone you can trust."

The best part of being a mom, according to Mary, is love.

"How they care - the unconditional love," she said.

It's not been like many grandmothers who are able to "spoil their grandchildren and then send them home," she said. Now she has to be the disciplinarian too.

"People ask me if I would do it all over again, and I would," Mary said. "They ask me how I do it and I tell them because of family support and putting God first. I'm very strong in my faith."

Mary in spite of the challenges, grandchildren are special and great-grandchildren are even more special.

"My house has never been empty," she said. "Everyone works but, thanks to family support - it takes a village to raise a child."