We All Need To 'Walk the Walk' Not Just 'Talk the Talk'

Making a difference one kid, one person at a time.

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I can count the times on one hand that my late husband Mike was out of control with his temper. In fact, I can only remember two and both of those were in defense of myself or the kids. He was one of the most mild-mannered men I had met, or most likely will ever meet again. He had his faults, but his calm demeanor was one of the things that drew me to him in the first place. And it is that calm demeanor that has me in a bit of a quandary now.

Not long ago I was sitting reflecting on the violence in our world. Not that violence has not always been there, because it has. It just is increasingly more prevalent all the time. One thing that kept hitting home was the fact many of the suspects in school shootings have shared some commonalities. One of those common factors is someone, somewhere had “noticed something was wrong” in the world of the one who was responsible for taking another person or persons life. Many of those who committed those crimes had suffered at the hands of bullies.  Along with that is the common factor that even though people around them realized the perpetrator was someone “in trouble”, someone who “could possibly go off the deep end”, and who possibly could end up “hurting someone” - no one did anything to address those concerns.

In other words, they “talked the talk”, but no one “walked the walk”.

A few months ago I watched time and time again as one of my granddaughters and many others continued to exhibit good sportsmanship in spite of those around them who did not.

I saw hands extended to help an opposing player up and that player refusing the hand offered. I watched repeatedly as players stomped their feet in anger because a foul was called on them by an official. Players who argued the calls. Players who deliberately push and shove as hard as they can or even grab a handful of hair from a player to prevent them from outplaying them. Players not just doing a little “trash talking” to cause another to lose their focus; but to be downright hateful with their words.

Do not get me wrong, I know sports are not all butterflies and roses. And I do not expect them to be. Sports is all about competition. It gets aggressive. It happens. But the alley tactics being used do not impress me at all. If you must play “dirty” in order to win – you are not a winner. To me, it is the same as cheating.

It was then I had a moment of reflection. What if? What if there was more focus on doing the right thing than the wrong thing? What if there were rewards for doing it right?

I knew what I had to do. I did not want to be one of those who merely “discussed” how badly someone was acting. Who saw all the red flags in someone’s behavior, but who turned away because it “isn’t my business”. I wanted to be someone who knows they cannot change it all, but maybe I ould help change one person. And what better way to do that than in memory of one of the best people I have ever known – Mike.  Sportsmanship is what is needed, so that is why I was going to encourage it to be the norm rather than the rarity.

I decided asking for nominations for those who exhibit sportsmanship and then going through those nominations and choosing an individual player, a team, a coach and yes, even an official who I would present a cash award to for their positive contributions to the world of sports. I got excited about the possibilities. And then - I was informed it is not acceptable to give an athlete cash.

Needless to say it was discouraging. However, I have not given up hope and still plan to move forward. It may be presented in the way of a scholarship – but it will be presented.

I hope to reward athletes and coaches for exhibiting sportsmanship; and, coaches and officials for exhibiting more concern about being leaders setting positive examples for athletes rather than someone who causes them to become even more negative in their behaviors.

I have watched coaches who have led their teams with encouragement. Who have worked to show their players not only how to play, but also how to behave. How to carry themselves in a positive manner on the field, on the court – no matter how heated a competition can get.

I have watched officials who in spite of what is going on around them, they continue to call games in a fair manner. Officials who have even taken the time to explain to an athlete why they called what they did. Officials who have contributed to positive behavior and the improvement of their talent. Officials who have not ignored when an athlete is getting so aggressive someone could be seriously hurt.

Again, I realize how sports are. I know excitement is part of it. I know emotions will run high. But it is possible, and it should be top priority, for everyone to keep their eye on what is most important and I don’t mean the score at the end.

I know some people won't change. There are those who no matter what continue to bully others with their actions and words.  And because of that, there will be the victims of their behavior who go on to cause harm to others.

I can control what I do. And, I don’t want to be one of those who just “talks the talk”. I want to be someone who can say, “I tried. I did my best to “walk the walk”. I put my words in to action. And it is my hope that others will think of ways that they can make a difference. Let's work together to make a difference - one kid, one person, at a time.

If you witness an athlete exhibiting good sportsmanship, a coach and/or an official exhibit positive role model behavior  please provide me with their name, date of what you witnessed, game that you witnessed it at, and a little about what happened.

Those considered will be in the Oklahoma Panhandle or Southwest Kansas area. I will need your name and phone number with all submissions.

Send nominations to nancy.kletecka@yahoo.com

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