Voice of the Student - February 6, 2023

Family

No family is picture perfect. People aren't cookie cut to perfection when they are born; the way they are raised and the people they grow up with will affect them for the rest of their lives. Most people believe that family is who you grow up with and are biologically related to. There is much more to it than that, though. Blood relations shouldn't define who you consider your family, that is a backwards way of thinking that excuses people's bad actions by justifying it because they are family, does not consider that some people don't have a biological family and boxes complex human relationships into categories that leave no room for nuance. Family is not just blood relatives but the people you surround yourself with and those who make you feel at home.

People always use the “they’re family” excuse when someone in their family does something wrong. This has always been used to protect predators in families and puts people in danger, especially kids. Believing that because they are part of the family, they would never do something wrong, and dismissing people's concerns is a toxic mindset. Nobody should have to consider these people family, especially if they have been harmed by said person. Blood relations does not mean “defend and protect this terrible person in your family from consequences.”

People lose relationships and relatives all the time. There are some people who have no known birth family. Sometimes, people need to build their families from the ground up. Friends you have known since childhood, friends you met a year ago, those can all be family. People should surround themselves with those who make them feel at home, not people who hate them and are forced to share the same blood relation. People say that those don't count as family because those are just friends but what does it matter if they aren't biologically related.

Humans are complex creatures, they shouldn't be forced into labels and put in boxes. Everyone is different and that includes their relationships with people. Some people grew up in environments where “family” was some of the worst people they knew and now they have a skewed view of what a family is. Sometimes labels like family and friends mean nothing to people who have been hurt by them.

Families are confusing, they are messy and complicated. It takes time to figure out who your real family is- who actually cares about you. Everybody has a right to choose who they consider family. It is not about blood relations, it's about who you willingly surround yourself with and people who make you feel at home.

Family and relatives are different. 

Chantel Barron-Calva is a senior at Ulysses High School. She is the daughter of Juan and Catalina Barron.

In collaboration with Ulysses High School teacher Jodi Pfingsten, The Ulysses News will feature a student column. Student writings are

submitted by Mrs. Pfingsten after being edited in class. Student subjects and writing styles will vary based on guidelines set forth by Mrs. Pfingsten and The Ulysses News.